


Two sides of the Coin

by Hasegawa



Series: DCU Drabbles: Lost Stars [5]
Category: DCU
Genre: Angst, Guilt, M/M, References to Depression, Tim needs a hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-20
Updated: 2018-06-20
Packaged: 2019-05-25 20:12:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,143
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14984726
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hasegawa/pseuds/Hasegawa
Summary: Kon came barging in into Tim's new life.And problems after problems came out. Tim hated it.Especially when he knows he still have feelings for Kon.





	Two sides of the Coin

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for the long wait!

Despite all the cold shoulder Tim gave Kon, the Superboy didn’t leave the joint. On the contrary, he stayed by the corner, periodically buying a glass of soda or French fries while watching Tim from where he sat. Tim knew he couldn’t run away—because not only Kon has his super hearing locked on his heart beat now, but also Tim couldn’t leave Collins and the rest of the shift team by themselves (Tim was still paranoid s-o-b).

 

So he spent the whole day simultaneously pretending he didn’t see Kon and acting like he didn’t see how curious his employees were about the hunky stranger lurking by the corner of the joint. The fan-girls were squealing like mad, chatting about the handsome hunk and arguing that their opinion on “Tim must be gay” was right.

 

Tim pretended he didn’t hear any of the gossips raging behind him and focused on working that day’s tasks. It was menial and numbing but also numerous and very, very repetitive. Sadly it didn’t help much on his quest to ignore the unwanted guest. And Tim was reminded on how potent Kon’s puppy-dog-eyes were. Those blue eyes had been shining on him from the corner of the room, like a watchtower.

 

Well, maybe he just needed out for the day. Tim finally gave up when the clock ticked off five o’clock and it was the time for shift-change. Collins was ready to retire and change in the staff room, and maybe it was time for Tim to come with him to observe the boy’s home condition, in secret of course. Tim was still a stalker at heart anyway. He gave the tasks outline and deadlines to the afternoon shift team, with promise to return in a few hours. They’d better have the joint nice and clean, or else.

 

When he opened the back door and saw Collins’ back amongst the pedestrians to the subway, Tim rushed to follow the boy but was caught by an arm circling his waist from behind. A familiar and nostalgic scent enveloped him. It made him want to cry and vomit at the same time.

 

“Fuck off.”

 

“Tim, I am really sorry, I... I wont let you go again. Please don’t run away from me.”

 

“I am not running away from anyone. Dont be too cocky.” Tim hissed coldly. He refused to face his ex. His past wouldn’t haunt him now, not ever. He was way passed it. “Now let me go, I have some matters to attend to.”

 

“You know you wont be able to hide your heart beat from me, Tim.”

 

“...And I don’t plan to. This is not your business, Conner Kent. I no longer am.”

 

That ends the conversation. Those arms loosened and finally released him. Without looking he knew Kon must have his kicked puppy look. And Tim doesn’t care. He had been hurt enough that he should know better now. He wouldn’t let his past manipulated him by now.

 

“...It is my business, Tim. You are always my business.” Kon whispered. “I don’t want to resort to this, but... if you don’t let me into whatever case you have now, I will call in the big guns. You’d bet my ass your brothers would be here in a heartbeat when I told them.”

 

“...Are you threatening me!?” Tim hissed and turned, just to see Kon’s relieved expression and sad smile.

 

“ Finally you let me see your face ... I miss you.” Kon whispered and took Tim’s hand and kissed it. “I miss you. I as wrong, and I am sorry. Please don’t walk away from me again. You hurt me.”

 

Tim snatched his hand away from Kon’s face. “Fuck you.” His anger flared again, hiding the hurt beneath. How dare Kon insinuating that Tim was the one who walked away from their relationship? That Tim was the one hurting him? Now that he has been found cheating, Kon realised he chose the wrong partner and wanted Tim to take him back again? Fuck him. Very much. Relationship isn’t made to be that way. It should be two ways, and if Kon couldn’t hold his end of the bargain, then there is nothing Tim could do to salvage their joke of a ‘relationship’.

 

“Tim...”

 

“Call them if you want.” Tim coldly sighed. “I don’t care. I don’t want to see you anymore, anywhere. Goodbye, Conner Kent.”

 

And with that, Tim rushed to chase Collins to the subway. He couldn’t care less about Kon or anyone else from his past. It was all behind him and they meant nothing now. He has a new life with the burger joint and he needs to take care of the wellbeing of his employee now. He might not be Bats or vigilante or anything now, but Tim still care about his responsibilities.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

Tim managed to catch Collins in the subway and shadowed the boy for the rest of the evening. Collins came from one of the worst neighbourhood in the city, living in one of the state-housing with one room-one bathroom. The family seemed to consist of a mother, an absent father and two little infant twin sisters. His mother looked old and blue-black, supporting the obvious sign of domestic violence. Collins looked adapt to do household chores, while his mother prepared for work, maybe for night shift considering she was off the door by six in the afternoon.

 

Tim intended to watch just enough to confirm his suspicions, but he ended up staying longer than that. He stayed up way passed his promised hour to his night shift team. He ended up watching Collins taking care of the house and the two little sisters. They were small and loud, yet Collins was so patient and loving towards them. He looked at ease while watching over them, changing their diapers, made their food and fed them, kissing the little heads when they were dried off bath. Collins might not be the brightest of his current employees, but he looked so damn professional at it. So happy. So used to it. So content.

 

It made Tim wanted to have a family like that. He wanted to have a brother like that. He wanted to have sisters like that. He wanted to have someone. He knew the taste of it. He was an only child, so he was used to loneliness and being the only one. He then had a brief taste of family closeness, before Jason came back to life and Damian entered the family. It used to be just him, Dick, Alfred and Bruce. He used to laugh and share moments sith Dick. He used to cook and clean with Alfred. He used to investigate and throwing diagnostic discussions with Bruce. They were happy  back then. No. _Tim_ was happy back then. They weren’t happy, they were happy because Jason returned and Damian came into equation and they were better than Tim. Tim was nothing but replacement. A bad one at that. Tim was just a joke. He never had a family in them.

 

So he vowed to help Collins, so that the boy could keep the perfect family he has.

 

Tim found the problem when the father came home with an almost empty bottle on one hand and a walking cane on the other. Collins’ cautious movement around him and his immediate hiding of the twins showed that the father can and had lashed out to them before. Tim then watched as the father verbally abuse Collins, especially on his mental disability and stutter. Collins ignored it like a pro, changing the cup of water beside the man. Tim noted the cup was plastic, probably because glass are dangerous and fragile.

 

The mother went home and it was then the beatings started. Tim couldn’t help but feeling angry and even though he knew irrationally he was not supposed to step in by the first night of observation. He didn’t even have the solid proof outside bruises and Collins’ attitude towards his father. But Tim was compromised. Stalking and waiting and observing made him felt like he was Red Robin again, which hurts a lot since he wasn’t anymore, even though it was his own decision.

 

So he stepped in, without mask or anything to cover his identity. He crashed by the window and hold the father’s arms from beating Collin’s mother. He twisted it and dislocated it just for assurance. When it was done, Tim realised he was using unnecessary violence. He didn’t think too much as he used his usual move for the professional baddies; and this man was just a common drunk with zero self-defence ability. Tim turned to see something different from his expectation. The mother was on the floor, looking at them with fear. And Collins stood beside his mother, watching him. They were not happy Tim saved them. They were afraid instead.

 

“...ma..Manager..?”

 

Tim shook his head. “ I am sorry. I shouldn’t have... but I can’t let him hurt you any further. I’ll call the police.”

 

“Don’t!” the mother immediately screamed. “Don’t call police, they will take him away and I cant... we still have...”

 

“But... But he was hurting you, ma’am...”

 

“No.... No you don’t understand, what are you doing!?” She screamed and became more frantic. His son tried to pacify her but failed. “who are you!?”

 

Collins looked scared. “Ma..Manager... Ti..Tim, y..you should g..go.”

 

Tim flinched. He had acted rashly and now he reaped what he sow. He made a rushed decision and a bad one at that. He was impatient and now he was fully compromised. He turned to the man writhing in pain on the floor. He turned to see a woman so afraid she couldn’t stand up, and Collins supporting his mother, refusing to see Tim. He was not a hero in this situation. He was the bogeyman. He was a mess.

 

“I am sorry.” Tim whispered. “Please... Please don’t tell anyone about this. I’ll pay his medical bill.”

 

Tim ran from that place immediately, rushing out of the door instead. He ran and an until he found a subway station and took the subway. It was rather empty, pass the rush hour. Just like that, Tim sat and crushed his face in his palms. And just like that, his tears came out. He was a mess. He wasn’t a vigilante anymore. What right he had intruding on people’s family like that? And all just because he felt self-righteous need to protect the image of ‘perfect family’. What does he know about perfect family, when he never know it himself? It was so arrogant of himself to assume that Collins and his mother would be better off without the dad.  

 

That was the first rejection he gets form saving someone in a long time. When he was still a vigilante with a mask on, he always get thankful gestures from the saved victims. But now he came in without a mask and all get was rejection. Wasn’t it a sign enough? Take off the bats, the mask, and what was Tim? Nothing but pile of rejected garbage.

 

Some stations passed and Tim slowly regained his composure. Nobody came to bother him. Apparently this city was similar to Gotham, in which people pretend they don’t see because they have learned to ignore others out of safety. And Tim was thankful for that. Finally he got to the last stop and went off the train. His eyes were heavy and dry and itchy. He just wanted to go back to his loft second floor above the fast food joint’s building.

 

Kon was waiting for him by the bottom of the subway stair.

 

Tim blinked and turned. He didn’t want to show his weak side, especially to Kon. He was fine crying in front of strangers in subway because they don’t care. Kon would act differently and he would comfort Tim and one thing would let to another, they would sleep together. Because Tim was weak for any affection freely give to him, and Kon loves to fuck anyone who wants him. Nope, Tim doesn’t want it. He had made enough mistake for tonight.

 

So he turned to get another exit. It was on the other side of the road and that means he needed to cross it, but it was worth it instead of walking to Kon. He wished Kon was distracted to not realised Tim was nearby. Tim was positive it worked until an arm grabbed him. Too strong and quick to be normal.

 

“Tim!” Kon caught him, refusing to let go. “Please ...”

 

“What do you want?” Tim took a deep breath and turned to face his past. Kon was still Kon, with his perfect physique and mix of Superman-Lex Luthor. Tim was reminded why he was attracted to Superboy, many, many months ago. And still is. But he knew better now. Tim was never enough for such perfection. And why does he keep hurting himself with those unattainable hope? Silly Tim.

 

“... I cannot let you cry alone.” Kon whispered. “I am sorry.”

 

“This is not your business.” Tim shrugged. “Don’t pretend you care, Kon.”

 

“I never pretend I care. I know I was a jackass for cheating on you. I was unable to support you when you needed me. I am sorry, Tim. Please let me back.”

 

Tim felt Goosebumps. “I... I can’t. I cannot afford to... I don’t want to be hurt anymore. You of all people was the one I thought I can count on. Can you please just leave me alone?”

 

“You were absent as well Tim. I might be the one cheated on you, but in my defence, you weren’t there much either. I always feel second to the Mission. I don’t feel like I matter to you, Tim. But I am sorry that I hurt you. I am not proud of it. I promise I would never hurt you again.  I am sorry.”

 

Tim knew there were grains of truth in Kon’s argument. And he knew that in his current state of mind, he couldn’t dissect it properly and objectively. He couldn’t do this now. So he lashed out. “So I am the one who made you kiss Steph? It is my fault that you dumped me? Fine. If that’s so, then I order you to stop pretending to care and want to get back with me. I sure as hell doesn’t want to crawl back to you!”

 

“Keep your drama off public space, would ya? Fucking gays!” someone shouted at them and it stopped both of them. Realizing they were still in the middle of subway walkway, and they were actually kind of airing their dirty laundry to public, Tim relented and oversee the insult. He tugged his arms from Kon’s grab and walked back, towards the stairs. Kon followed him, just a step behind, until they reached the burger joint. It was kind of slow night, and the two shift workers there turned when they entered the shop.

 

“I am sorry I am late.” Tim called out to them. They answered “it’s fine” and Tim told them to continue their job, while he went up to his room. Kon still followed him.

 

“...Do you live here?”

 

Tim didn’t answer and turned on the light. There were not much furniture there, just a  simple futon, a sofa, microwave, and some PCs. Kon looked uncomfortable, looking around. Tim ignored him and went to the bathroom to take a quick wash and change of clothes. When he returned, Kon was making himself comfortable on the sofa.

 

“Why are you still here?”

 

“I don’t... I am staying.”

 

“Who said you can? You can fly back in a few hours, top.”

 

“I won’t leave you like this.”

 

“Oh, so you’ll leave me when I need you, but not when I don’t need you anymore?”

 

“Tim... please. I am sorry. I said I am sorry!”

 

“So? Everything’s done.” Tim sighed. “I am done with all of you. I have ... I have job in this place.”

 

“What? Play pretend manager for a burger kiosk?” Kon scoffed. “You, who managed the Teen Titans and WE, settling down to manage a burger shop?”

 

Tim didn’t answer. It was true. And he was in no mood to answer. Suddenly a loud crash was heard from the down floor where the shop is; Immediately Tim and Kon reacted,  rushing down to see one of the two shift workers were hissing with pain on the floor, with broken leg, while the other crying in panic. It seemed like they were trying to fix the lamp on the fridge room and he fell from the ladder.

 

Tim cursed and took charge. In ten minutes, the injured young man was taken by an ambulance, and Tim went with him. But that leaves only one worker in the shop and she was quite new. She couldn’t handle it alone, at least until Tim returned. At that time of night, it would be hard to get one of the other shift members.

 

“I’ll handle this.” Kon suddenly said and took an apron. “You get him to safety.”     

 

Tim finally nodded and got into the ambulance. Luckily the break was clean, so his employee was discharged in three hours. But the insurance and administration took longer and Tim ended up spending six hours in the hospital. He was expecting the joint to close when he returned as it already passed midnight. He was ready to do some damage control, just to find the joint was still open, or at least it still has lights on.

 

The place was clean and properly closed, and Kon was still behind the counter, cleaning up some stuff.

 

“You are back.” Kon smiled. “Welcome back.”

 

Tim shook his head. That smile was something he loves—loved so much before. Kon waiting for him in their apartment when he returned from hard day at WE.

 

“You hungry? I prepared some salad for you.”

 

That wasn’t what Tim expected. Kon didn’t know how to cook, but he learned a bit to help Tim. To keep Tim alive, because Tim didn’t feed himself enough. This was the old Kon Tim loves. This was not the Kon who said he would break up with Tim because Tim was not enough. That was not fair. And Tim was very weak, very compromised. The day was filled with so many problems. Tim was just not ready.

 

So he broke down and pushed his hands on his ears. No, not this. He couldn’t do this now.

 

“I’ve got you Tim.” Kon’s voice was filling his head, so Tim clamped his hands harder on his ears. No, he didn’t want to hear anything. He couldn’t. It was tiring. He just want everything to stop hurting.

 

 

* * *

 

Kon hold his ex-boyfriend as tight as he could while Tim sobbed his heart out.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I want to make it all the bats came and worked in the joint, but this chapter turns to an angst fest. hopefully the next one will be pure crack.


End file.
